My Life As A Single Mother

My 2nd blog and actually my first TRUE blog.

Ok. I had my child when I was 20 years old. I was in college and being foolish to have UNPROTECTED sex. That's what happened. It was with my boyfriend at the time and it's actually sad to say that I once loved this boy. I would have given him my all. AND yet NOW...I cant stand him. I dont even like being in the same room with him. In my opinion, he is a LIAR and a straight up ASS HOLE! It sux to feel like "I actually had feelings for you". All he does for me is give me a headache. And that's just all I will say about that sitch cause I could write a book about how I feel about him. How sometimes, I feel like hitting him but I cant coz that's domestic violence. But what i really wanted to write about today was a comment he said about me. It went like this "Just because she (as in me) ruined her life, she shouldn't take it out on me."

Wha! Excuse me! WHAT THE HELL!! How is my life ruined? God has blessed me to have a beautiful child. I was given someone to care about. Someone who depends on me and loves me for ME! Someone I am responsible for and has helped me to grow emotionally. My daughter, Eva, has given me strength. Giving me a passion to go and continue my dreams for her. I love Eva to death. I would kill for her. I would go to jail for life for her. I would give my life for HER. She is my life. She is above everyone. She is mine. She came from me. She is apart of me! How dare he say that!

Okay, so I cant go party like a rockstar. So fuckin what? Everytime I go to a club someone either starts fighting or shooting. It's a waste of time. I can have a good time at home with Eva.

My life is not ruined at all. I'm still going to school, pursuing my major (Mass Communications with interest in Radio & TV), and I'm doin it for myself and for Eva. I still go out to lunch with friends, I still hang out and have a good ass time. If anything my life has become better. I'm not saying go out and have a kid coz ur life would be better. I'm sayin that I'm a better PERSON because of Eva. I'm not lazy anymore. LOL. I'm more honest. I'm more responsible. I tend to make better decisions. It's all good.

All in all, it is HARD. without my parents...AH! about that...my parents. I'm so grateful. I could be out on my own living in a homeless shelter. THANK GOD!!! but as i was sayin, it is Hard to have a child. It's not always smiles and sweet kisses. It's also tears and tantrums. But it comes with the territory.

Well i've vented LOL! hope u enjoy!

Smooches XO
Roxy